General Nursing / Phlebotomist: I Get Paid to Stab People
Sharps usedtoo many to count
Consent obtainedusually, but often reluctantly
Bruising — patient or nurseoccupational hazard
Nurse's Chief ComplaintHard sticks, and anxious patients
History
IV starts, blood draws, injections — if it involves needles, nurses call it "stabbing," half affectionately, half because after the fortieth one of the day, that's honestly what it starts to feel like.
Assessment
Not a threat. A nurse's version of "yes, I do this to people all day, and yes, I'm very good at it."
TreatmentShop the shirt →
Prognosis
Perfect for the nurse who's tired of pretending blood draws are a delicate art and would rather just own the bit. Expect a laugh from anyone who's ever flinched at a needle — and a knowing nod from anyone who's held one.